


Respite

by thdancingferret



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-12
Updated: 2004-06-12
Packaged: 2017-10-08 22:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thdancingferret/pseuds/thdancingferret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happiness can't be found in doing what is expected of us, only in doing what the heart knows is right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Respite

It's all you can do to lift your hand to turn the key in the lock that leads to your small London flat. You aren't tired - you did manage to sleep on the long flight home, however fitfully - but you are weary.  Bone deep, soul achingly weary in a way you've never been before.  The glamour of it all has worn off long since you took your first step onto New Zealand soil and there have been too many sacrifices made in the name of stardom.  Far too many...

It is a measure of that weariness that you simply instruct the driver to drop your bags inside the door, pass him a generous tip with a nod of your head and a wan smile, and close the door quietly behind him.  The open curiosity on his face as he'd glanced about the flat had served as an unwelcome reminder of how little privacy you truly had and this space, this one last vestige of a life you'd left behind, was too dear to be exposed for long to prying eyes.  Instead, you lock the door behind him and turn to walk on unsteady legs down the short hall that leads to the single bedroom.  You don't stop to do more than pull off your shirt and kick off your shoes before you are falling face down onto the bed, eyes closed and breath rapidly easing into the deepness of sleep.

*********

You don't have to open your eyes to know that you are no longer alone but, before the fog of sleep can lift enough for panic to set in, a broad hand settles gently on your back and a low, soft voice breaks through the darkness behind your lids like a flare.

"I didn't want to wait until next week. On the phone, you sounded..."

"Lost." Your own whispering voice pulls that darkness back, wraps it around you and makes you shiver despite the ambient warmth of the room.  The hand on your back strokes slowly along your spine to the back of your neck and thick, strong fingers begin to knead tense muscles.  You sigh despite yourself and shift closer to the comfort offered by that hand, brushing your shoulder against one bent knee and you don't have to open your eyes either to know that it's the roughness of denim that presses into your skin.

"You're not lost, Orlando. You'll always be right here." The quietly murmured words force a soft, bitter laugh from your lips and you shake your head against the sheets.

"No, I won't. Depending on the week, I'll be in New York or Los Angeles or... or some other godforsaken place, smiling brightly for the cameras and making sure that I'm seen with someone... appropriate on my arm, to keep the rumours at bay..."  You have to clench your eyes tighter shut against the swelling tide of desolation in your voice and for a moment, the kneading fingers grow still against the bare skin of your neck as the pad of a thumb lightly strokes your jaw.

"That was your choice, Orlando. Not mine."  The voice is still low but some of the softness has bled away, replaced by a tension that makes that in your muscles seem weak by comparison.  It's the resigned tone of those words, though, that drives a shard of pain deeper into your chest and makes your breath catch in your lungs as you fight to speak.

"No. Not anymore... I don't... I can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending I'm someone I'm not... pretending I love someone else when it's... when it's not you..." The effort to contain a sob of desperation strangles the vocal chords in your throat and your words stumble to a halt.  Shifting sounds beside you, the fingers against the skin of your neck resume their gentle stroking and this time, when the words come, the mouth they issue from is closer to your ear.

"I'm here now, Orlando. I'm right here..."  The barest shake of your head and the thumb against your jaw slips to rub softly against your chin.

"But I want you here always, even when you're not.... Christ, I'm not making any bloody sense, am I..."  A low, rough chuckle and this time, when the breath catches in your lungs, it's because of the barest brush of lips across the nape of your neck.

"You're making perfect sense to me but then, I'm not everyone..."  The soft, easy humour in that voice tugs the corners of your lips up despite themselves and you can't help the small smile that crawls onto your face.

"I don't want everyone, Viggo. I just want you..."  You don't know if it's the ache in your voice or the pleading whisper in which you speak that brings that thumb up to rest against your lips, stalling any further words.

"You have me, Orlando. And you will always have me, even when I'm not here..."  The fingers on the back of your neck slip away to trail down between your shoulders again, as the thumb against your mouth is replaced by gentle, chapped lips. Lips that ease away despite the murmur of protest from your own at their loss, as the body beside your own slides down the sheets and an arm urges you closer still.

"Don't worry about any of it for now, just let it go.  Let it all go and just... be here, with me."

One breath and then another and you can feel the tension draining from your muscles, your cheek coming to rest against a cotton covered shoulder and that strong arm settling more comfortably around your waist as you listen to the slow, soothing rhythm of your lover's heartbeat.  For the first time in longer than you can remember, your lips curve upwards into a easy, genuine smile, as you whisper words soft with wonder into the darkness behind your lids.

"There's nowhere else I would rather be..."

 

The End


End file.
